And a Happy F***ing Thanksgiving to You Too.

Its Thanksgiving.

I am so excited for the holiday, I get to spend days bonding with my sweet children, playing games and doing quaint family outings.  Establishing traditions and feeling nostalgic of my childhood.

This means I have to be fake festive and make decorations because my kids really want them, and hope that these things stave off the miserable arguments that are guaranteed to stem from one being too happy and the other being off schedule.  I am also going to try to get together with other moms to no avail only to find that I am either not that liked, or I am liked and maybe my kids are not.

The prospect that I am not ok with watching TV all day for a week was the first fight.

Waiting for turns on the computer was the second fight.

The wii sensor bar was fight # 3

Eating was fight # 4

Finally I gave up and let them watch TV.....so upcoming fight will be the TV has to be turned off.

I anticipate a "why do we have chores fight" and a "why are we too poor to go on vacation tirade"

So...I have 3 days of this 1 day of "there are too many people" and "I'm not hungry"

Then I get to spend the evening with people I don't even like with not enough alcohol, for a holiday I find very conflicting.   Since I have been a vegetarian for about 6 months now I wont enjoy the only part I like.  The leftover turkey sandwiches. I may have to give myself that because otherwise what is all this for? I mean really every bite of turkey I take makes me think about how many Native Americans died, and slavery, and Donald Trump, and all the false American symbolism.  Then I feel guilty because I love food, and I love most of my family, but I have to wonder what am I encouraging my kids to believe in?  I mean are they going to feel as cheated as I do by the legacy of lies?

Then there is also the cooking.  All the cooking that I am only mediocre at, and costs a whole week of groceries.  I thought the Puritans were poor. You mean to tell me that they were starving, they came together with all kinds of food, and fed themselves and the natives?  Yeah, sure. Now its spend almost a weeks worth of grocery money on one meal your going to share with everyone and think about how thankful you are for all that you have.  I am only moderately grateful, and I feel less grateful when I feel how one holiday cripples my budget.

This post is becoming a tirade on my anxiety about the holidays.  Just so we are all clear not everyone enjoys Thanksgiving, and not everyone has pleasant lengthy vacations with their children who are angels,  Some of us have pleasant moments sprinkled between nauseating tension. So be sure to bring good wine to dinner and don't pick fights with your politically opposing family member.